Before I came to WashU, I thought that my experience there would somehow parallel my four years in high school. One of these ways was my tendency to make younger friends. When the class ahead of me left, I couldn't say that I felt any significant longing; I knew many more sophomores and freshmen than I did seniors. Now, after three years of University, I have to say the exact opposite is true.
This was something I didn't expect even in the past few years. Last summer, when I was saying goodbye to the class of 2011, it was hard to see them go, sure, but the space left in their stead was not bothersome. Perhaps this was because I only had two years to get to know them, or that a few stuck around or visited often, maybe it was only me. This year though, their void is almost tangible. The past two weeks I have been spending nearly 24/7 hanging out with people I know and love, and I've seen people like Wesley or Eric literally each day, but even then, the idea of the class of 2012 graduating and leaving hadn't taken hold of me. It only struck me on the day of, when things were actually happening and actually real.
I spent almost the whole day of commencement ruminating on memories I had with them or lessons I've learned from them, trying to quantify some sort of truth I can use in the next year while on leadership. I don't know if I can say that I did. Intrinsically I already know what I've learned and I can't seem to lay those things out in words, but what I gained from my reflection was possibly much better than these things.
---
On the 9th I left for the InterVarsity leadership conference Catalyst. The one, big, main thing I took from it is that we are called by God to witness and are called into leadership. To choose to do leadership independently of this is something you should be cautious about. We didn't even talk about this in our tracks or plenary times; this was a sort of passing thought in an article I read in preparation for the conference. It stuck out to me because during the time of leadership discernment, I didn't have a strong tugging from God to take on a role like that and did it mainly because of precedence and the fact that I want to serve the ACF community. Coming away from this, I had to really look at and re-evaluate my role as a leader and figure out if I should still pursue that.
In the void of our seniors I realized this: God has raised up this class around me for a reason, to learn with them and learn from them, to see their strengths accrete and understand what makes great leaders. As a senior you take on inherent responsibility -- people naturally look up to you. I have these lessons, what do I do with them? How do I use them grow close to God? By putting what I've learned into action and passing it on.
This is more than any Bible lesson I've been taught, this is something I have walked in the midst of for three years. To NOT be an active leader would be an ABSOLUTE WASTE of what God has presented to me. The fact that it's also something I'd like to do is merely a bonus (although some aspects are still scary).
I looked for answers in a busy time with many voices saying a lot of things. Ironically, in the absence of voice and in the silence, I was able to hear God calling me into this role. So while I leave St. Louis with a longing heart, I am uplifted and feel more strengthened to strive for God's power and calling. So thanks seniors, I'll miss you all!
(Also, A++ for whoever gets the title reference!)
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Friday, March 11, 2011
10. A pleasant surprise?
Yesterday was a very fortunate day. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have my marketing class at 8:30. As expected, it is kind of hard to be cognizant of what is going on in that class, much less waking up for it (this week especially). Because of this, when I went to bed at 2:30 I was pretty pleased, since I would get over four hours of sleep (which I had gotten the previous day, and oddly enough a lot of people were up as long as I was too, but I digress) and I set two alarms for myself, per usual. I figured that I would be much more ready than on other days. So, when I woke up at 8:50, the first thing that probably went through my mind was "You have to be kidding me. (emphasis on the period)" (also, this is not the first time I have somehow slept through two alarms without remembering them going off).
Now, normally, I wouldn't have been so sad and I probably would have went back to sleep and said "oh well" without any thought, but on Tuesday we were assigned an extra credit assignment that specifically states at the top "due at the beginning of class," which I had just missed. It wasn't a hard assignment at all (like, at all) which is a good thing, but it was still extra credit that I would have liked to have had. I wasn't sure how lenient the professor would be, since I feel like things are weirdly intense in the business school (probably due to my heuristics seeing as how two days before I was signed up for a marketing study but missed the start time by one minute and was not able to participate), so I thought about just skipping since it was the last class before spring break anyways.
I decided to go anyways to see if maybe I would be able to turn it in. Now, in my mind, there was no other incentive to go to class. Yes, they do take attendance, but I had never skipped it any other time, so one absence probably wouldn't matter for my participation grade. Also, over the semester there are six pop quizzes. However, we had already had three of them, and since spring break is the halfway point of the semester, I thought that the rest of the quizzes would occur when we got back. However (again!) this assumption was wrong! We ended up having a quiz, which made be very happy because I decided to go to class and I was also able to turn in my assignment, because apparently not a lot of people turned it in at the start of class and they just turned it in with the quiz. Success!
Anyways, lately I have been thinking about how just a little initiative from myself lets God work out disproportionately larger things and allows me to get much closer to him. Ironically, I had skipped going to prayer meeting the day before (which is probably one of the reasons I was thinking about this..). In my defense, I went to bed at 5:00 and the meeting was at 7:00, so I probably would not have been in a state to make effective prayer times anyway, but in my not defense, Jeremy didn't sleep and still went. But anyways. This instance was a much more physical iteration of this lesson, where it would have been so easy to sit idly by, but because of a little initiative, things worked out in a way I wouldn't even have guessed!
And later that day we had a class discussion about Batman, so that was cool too.
Now, normally, I wouldn't have been so sad and I probably would have went back to sleep and said "oh well" without any thought, but on Tuesday we were assigned an extra credit assignment that specifically states at the top "due at the beginning of class," which I had just missed. It wasn't a hard assignment at all (like, at all) which is a good thing, but it was still extra credit that I would have liked to have had. I wasn't sure how lenient the professor would be, since I feel like things are weirdly intense in the business school (probably due to my heuristics seeing as how two days before I was signed up for a marketing study but missed the start time by one minute and was not able to participate), so I thought about just skipping since it was the last class before spring break anyways.
I decided to go anyways to see if maybe I would be able to turn it in. Now, in my mind, there was no other incentive to go to class. Yes, they do take attendance, but I had never skipped it any other time, so one absence probably wouldn't matter for my participation grade. Also, over the semester there are six pop quizzes. However, we had already had three of them, and since spring break is the halfway point of the semester, I thought that the rest of the quizzes would occur when we got back. However (again!) this assumption was wrong! We ended up having a quiz, which made be very happy because I decided to go to class and I was also able to turn in my assignment, because apparently not a lot of people turned it in at the start of class and they just turned it in with the quiz. Success!
Anyways, lately I have been thinking about how just a little initiative from myself lets God work out disproportionately larger things and allows me to get much closer to him. Ironically, I had skipped going to prayer meeting the day before (which is probably one of the reasons I was thinking about this..). In my defense, I went to bed at 5:00 and the meeting was at 7:00, so I probably would not have been in a state to make effective prayer times anyway, but in my not defense, Jeremy didn't sleep and still went. But anyways. This instance was a much more physical iteration of this lesson, where it would have been so easy to sit idly by, but because of a little initiative, things worked out in a way I wouldn't even have guessed!
And later that day we had a class discussion about Batman, so that was cool too.
Friday, September 17, 2010
9. It will either be a very fun or very unfortunate semester
Yesterday was the last day to drop a class so I guess I'm keeping all my classes, hopefully I don't fail any of them. I meant to give run-downs of all my classes like two weeks ago but it has been pretty busy... But now I have time so hopefully I will finish writing this before I go to sleep. So here are my current assessments:
Architecture History
So far it's been good, the class has a 1.5 hour time slot but our professor talks really fast and we usually get let out half an hour ahead of schedule. I find it more interesting than art history, but that might be because I actually elected to take the class instead of being forced to. Hopefully there will be some pretty fun study parties come test time.
Archaeology
I really like my professor for this class, she's very happy and you can tell that she likes what she teaches and that she is teaching it (for some other professors, I don't know...!). Content wise I don't think I will benefit much from learning it but it's good to know?
Microeconomics
This class is so scary; everyday someone is picked at random to summarize an article from the Wall Street Journal or New York Times and apply it to what we are learning. If you're unprepared you get -1% from your grade! I got drawn first so unfortunately I have like the best odds of getting picked again... Also the professor pretty much reads slides verbatim and asks questions with obvious answers, which I guess isn't a bad thing, but what's the point of asking them...
Statistics
So at first I thought this would be a fun class because the professor was mildly humorous but we cover material so slowly. He also has some sort of initiative to make us all actuaries. He really likes talking about that profession.
Pictures for Communication
This might be my most favorite class right now; the material is something I am fully interested in and we get to make cool pictures. I also like the professor, he's pretty okay.
Color Systems
Currently I have a strong dislike for this class because we are going to be using acrylic paint for the first month or so and I don't understand the projects we are doing. If I can use the computer later I will probably like this class better but I think I need to calibrate my screen differently or something if I am going to do that. The professor is kind of awkward but that's okay because I'm probably awkward right back at him.
Digital Photography
I think this class is going to be like drawing class last semester - I'm just going to trudge through disliking it all the way. We have to spend so much money on printing, we can only buy prints in like $50 increments. It is also a pain to go out and take so many pictures, but I think that's because I'm worried about getting all good shots when it doesn't matter if we have bad ones in it. Maybe we will have more interesting projects later.
Next semester hopefully I will be able to take an animation course and exciting things! It had better not interfere with anything or I will be so angry. I don't think I will take fashion design anymore. Oh well, no cool apron.
Also exciting is that I help design the newspaper! It doesn't take as long as I hoped it would (which I guess is good) but it is still fun and they put my name at the bottom of page three on Mondays. I probably should have saved my first one, oh well. I'm not too busy right now; there are like mega busy days where I am doing something every hour for the whole day but then there are random lulls in work so I think it averages out fine. It's only the first month though so tchk knock on wood. It is a bother to have class from 10/11 to 7:30 (although both my 4:30-7:30 classes tend to get out early; full-length classes are outliers) each day though (except Friday, happy days!); sometimes I wish I could skip studio.
So yes, it should be fun. It has been so far.
Architecture History
So far it's been good, the class has a 1.5 hour time slot but our professor talks really fast and we usually get let out half an hour ahead of schedule. I find it more interesting than art history, but that might be because I actually elected to take the class instead of being forced to. Hopefully there will be some pretty fun study parties come test time.
Archaeology
I really like my professor for this class, she's very happy and you can tell that she likes what she teaches and that she is teaching it (for some other professors, I don't know...!). Content wise I don't think I will benefit much from learning it but it's good to know?
Microeconomics
This class is so scary; everyday someone is picked at random to summarize an article from the Wall Street Journal or New York Times and apply it to what we are learning. If you're unprepared you get -1% from your grade! I got drawn first so unfortunately I have like the best odds of getting picked again... Also the professor pretty much reads slides verbatim and asks questions with obvious answers, which I guess isn't a bad thing, but what's the point of asking them...
Statistics
So at first I thought this would be a fun class because the professor was mildly humorous but we cover material so slowly. He also has some sort of initiative to make us all actuaries. He really likes talking about that profession.
Pictures for Communication
This might be my most favorite class right now; the material is something I am fully interested in and we get to make cool pictures. I also like the professor, he's pretty okay.
Color Systems
Currently I have a strong dislike for this class because we are going to be using acrylic paint for the first month or so and I don't understand the projects we are doing. If I can use the computer later I will probably like this class better but I think I need to calibrate my screen differently or something if I am going to do that. The professor is kind of awkward but that's okay because I'm probably awkward right back at him.
Digital Photography
I think this class is going to be like drawing class last semester - I'm just going to trudge through disliking it all the way. We have to spend so much money on printing, we can only buy prints in like $50 increments. It is also a pain to go out and take so many pictures, but I think that's because I'm worried about getting all good shots when it doesn't matter if we have bad ones in it. Maybe we will have more interesting projects later.
Next semester hopefully I will be able to take an animation course and exciting things! It had better not interfere with anything or I will be so angry. I don't think I will take fashion design anymore. Oh well, no cool apron.
Also exciting is that I help design the newspaper! It doesn't take as long as I hoped it would (which I guess is good) but it is still fun and they put my name at the bottom of page three on Mondays. I probably should have saved my first one, oh well. I'm not too busy right now; there are like mega busy days where I am doing something every hour for the whole day but then there are random lulls in work so I think it averages out fine. It's only the first month though so tchk knock on wood. It is a bother to have class from 10/11 to 7:30 (although both my 4:30-7:30 classes tend to get out early; full-length classes are outliers) each day though (except Friday, happy days!); sometimes I wish I could skip studio.
So yes, it should be fun. It has been so far.
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